Chicken Soup

A mama's job is never done. As with most cliches it is very simply TRUE! This simple truth that my mama just so gracefully lives is the same one that I've been struggling to learn for 2 years now. Or more accurately, struggling not to learn. To me, it has been, hands down, the hardest lesson of parenthood.

Initially it took a few months for me to realize what it even meant. I just kept getting frustrated that Brad wasn't doing enough but then could never describe to him what enough even was. After many tears we finally figured out that I was simply unprepared for what it meant to be the mama. I'm not sure exactly how old Thomas was when we had the enlightening conversation, but he couldn't have been more than 3 months. I was upset with Brad for something and we got down to what it really was about - I'm IT. The buck stops here. If all else fails, go see mama. I'm not sure what I said but Brad looked at me quizzically and said "but you're the mama!" Like, what did you expect?? I remember this almost physical sensation of something pushing me down. It was like I'd been sucker punched. How could I not have known what this entailed?! The endlessness of my responsibility suddenly gained an aching clarity.

To be honest though, the daily reality of this truth isn't the hard part. Sure, I'm frequently exhausted and need alone time. What was hard was just the shock of it. The "getting it". I don't get to beg off because I'm not in the mood. I don't get sick days. Except for today!!

Which brings me back to the reason for this post. I've been sick as a dog (where did that saying come from anyway?) in bed all day. And who do you think took care of me and Thomas? My mama, of course! (Brad was out of town for work). She took the day off work and took Thomas downstairs so I could rest. I only saw him briefly other than nap and bedtime. Of course, he still needed to nurse whether I was sick or not, but after being able to rest all day and then being greeted by a cheerful toddler, that really wasn't a big deal, even feeling as I did. She even made me big pot of the tastiest chicken soup I've had in ages. Love, help and a bowl of soup - isn't that what mamas are for?